The Truth About Marriage

By Heather

When in most cases it is probably the most chaotic, stressful ordeal that you will ever experience. (not in my case) But in most cases this is true. But at the end of the day, usually during the reseption you take a step back and look at everyone and your segnificant other and the same expression falls on both your faces "We did it."

However, after the wedding reality comes in and you discover some incongruities with what television and Hollywood have told you while you were growing up. In your mind before marriage this is what you see.




The reality is, from a woman's point of view, is that man with his arms wrapped around you is a blazing furnice. And no matter how much you would love to spoon and cuddle with him, it would mean certain dehydration and mummified doom if you did all night long. Also Hollywood doesn't prepare you for what you wake up to in the early morning either. You wake up at the crack of dawn each day and as you raise the covers of your bed, what ever smell has been furmenting under those layers over night eeks out and makes your eyes water. Nothing prepares you for that. Now before my husband chimes in here and says I'm just as bad I'm going to make a point. Yes, I'm a girl and yes I fart and I'll be the first to admit that at times I am out right foul and nasty. But your forgetting one thing, I am used to mine. So what ever unholy mixture of both you and I is sturing under those sheets for six to eight hours  is suddenly unleashed is noxious. The government needs to capture that and use it for chemical warfare. At times I believe that our bedroom needs to be quarentined and people with hazmat suits need to burn some fabrics.


Now this is an outright fabrication. I can count maybe six times that both me and Ryan were brushing our teeth at the same time. The times where me and him are in the bothroom together are when I'm showering and he runs into the bathroom in a rush to the toilet. Or when I'm brushing my teeth again, running into the bathroom in a worried rush. And yet again I have to sit there in plethra of smells, this time with my mouth open. But what is most important here is, that I wouldn't trade this for the world. Oddly enough there is nothing else I'd rather come home to and all that Hollywood crap they shove down your throat seems so hollow compared to what it actually is. There is a lot of humor in marriage and I think that there is what bonds us to one another so much. There will be some serious tests along that road. And yes those gross, silly, or weird habits at times may be the things that drive you nutts that day but later on it is still the thing you think of that makes you laugh. You have to laugh, you hear that saying all the time but its something you come to learn to be an undeniable truth.

But I think both me and Hollywood can agree on this.