Random Look into my Past

By Heather

There are times when I take along look into the rearview mirror and think of my youth. Just to see how far I've come and yet how far I have left to go. Growing up I was picked on a lot, made fun of for my off sense of humor, now I've made a blog out of it that quite a few people seem to enjoy. I was made fun of for my drawings (not the ones I do on here) and now I make a decent profit at it. When I joined band I was only ridiculed more by those I considered friends and then realized that they were my friends out of pity because I didn't have anyone else. But you know what? That's fine, because the freedom I found in music is what kept me going through the worst of those years. Now I have the ability to learn any instrument I want. Looking back I am so glad I didn't cave to peer-pressure because if I did I would be sitting here in regret of what I missed out on. On what I could have done. Only giving up to fit in will lead to nowhere, but if you stick to your guns on what you love to do and find salvation within yourself. Then you will find a much richer life and a freedom that very few will ever know. And now having that freedom I can pass this knowledge and advice onto those I come into contact with. If you have to change who you are to fit in with your friends, then they are not your friends. Real friends accept you for who you are. And if these people don't then they are not worth catering for either.

 I am writing this now more so because I still get quite a few e-mails from kids that I used to do counceling at an after school program. I know you all don't think I'm being honest when I tell you how much I was made fun of, how much people brought me down, and how much I didn't like who I was. And how long I didn't like myself because of how people made me feel. I'm not saying this for people to feel sorry for me, I'm saything this because what you are going through now does not last forever. And people only make you feel that way when you let them. Ask yourselves some serious questions. In the long run do those people and their opinions of you matter? No, no they don't. Are you really willing to let that person dictate who you are or what your future will be? No, absolutely not! Then don't give them that power. Walk away and continue doing what makes you happy, drawing, music, writing what ever it is you find your freedom in. Don't be afraid to tell your teachers or parents about what's happening at school. I never told a soul until years later, don't know why but I never did. It never occured to me that anything could be done about it. I just sort of let it happen until finally people just forgot about me and moved on. All I can say is, don't let that be you. It took me along time to get over the social awkwardness that ran my life. That awkwardness was caused by me not doing anything about it, allowing other people to make me believe there was something wrong with me. Made me fear breaking from my routine, fear talking to others because I for some reason wasn't normal. Now there is no fear, just joy because I have moved passed it and those people that were the cause of it are not in my life and have not been since school ended. Will I ever let anyone make me feel that way again? No, never again. I have grown so much since then and have found someone to be weird with. If there is someone out there like me then there is someone out there like you. God apparently has that sense of humor too. My brother-in-law said "There is a lid for every pot." and he is right.