The Grand Daddy of all Blog Posts!

By Heather

To completely encapsulate the epically horrendous string of bad luck I've had, I'll begin from the beginning of the week.

So Monday, I drove forty minutes to go to this meeting for new hires. They have these meetings like every five months. So I get in the car and notice a pain in my lower stomach. I figured I pulled a muscle or something so I didn't worry about it. As I drive the pain gets worse...I mean astronomically worse. I'm not one to panic so I just waited it out which was really really hard because I have never experience so much pain in my life.

So I get to the reception hall where the meeting is and as soon as I get out of the car it was like something snapped and whatever pain I was in before was ousted by excruciating pain.


 At that point I was taken by ambulance to the nearest hospital. So I think from my previous post states how I feel about hospitals. But, much to my surprise the nurses were so nice, the doctor didn't treat me like an idiot.

It turned out I had a cyst on my ovary, and when I got out of the car was the exact time it decided to rupture.

I was released from the hospital and it was then I realized why I was being treated so well...I was in a town of rich people and in a rich person's hospital. I realized this after I paid my co-pay and was on my way out through the main lobby of the hospital where there, in the middle of the lobby was a concert pianist.... I shit you not there was a concert pianist playing hymns. After that it was waiting an hour for my cab to get there to take me back to my car. I debated on walking but figured that would bad considering I was still pretty tender and the pain killer was wearing off. I don't know what they gave me but it was good. I must have asked everyone that entered my room what they wanted for dinner because I was bound and determined to cook for them.

Tuesday, now for the two weeks prior I have been tirelessly cleaning, clearing, and organizing our receiving bay. I haven't been to the store in three days. For a week prior we had received four ladders ranging from 25-40ft. In our small receiving bay with eight pallets and these ladders is near impossible to get around to put things away. So my boys (my co-workers) tore up my beautiful work of art over the weekend.


 At first I was just working with it, but after the tenth time of tripping over a needless mess and all my work thrown out the door was when I finally snapped and went into an all caps rage. Fire burst from my mouth and lightening shot from my hands as I could no longer contain it.

Wednesday, to my delight, both Dick and Joe were in the store at the same time. These are the two worst people I have ever waited on. Joe treats me like an idiot because I'm a woman working in a contractor focused paint store. Dick treats everyone like they are dirt. So as I'm taking Dick's order Joe starts yelling at me saying I tinted his paint wrong of which I didn't and when I proved that I did not he tersely grabbed his paint and left without another word. Dick (who's name is not Dick, I just call him that because he is one) then proceeded to yell at all of us and said "You are the dumbest f*cks in the store." I then gave him a look that could have curdled milk and practically threw his gallon at him as I totaled him out. Now here is a fun fact from last week. I was on my lunch in Wendy's across the street from the store when Dick comes in and sees me there. He then comes over, shoves his finger in my face and starts cursing at me. I slowly stood up toe to toe with him and asked him if he was aware that I was no longer on store property and clocked out. He said he figured that. I proceeded to tell him that that means I can say what ever I want to him without fear of being fired, do you really want to start this. Well apparently he did because he then started to yell at me where I then cut him off and stringed together the most lovely plethora of insults I have come up with in a long time. I was rather proud of myself till we both were kicked out of Wendy's.

Thursday, this guy comes in with a wood stain match. Wood stain matches need at least three to four days notice before you need them and that's without anyone in front of you. He comes in and needs a stain match done for the very next morning, it is now six o'clock at night. I tell him about the wait time and that five people are in front of him. Luckily he wasn't to pushy about it but he then went to find a color close enough to it and wants me to mix it. I tell him that if I tint this he has to buy it even if its not even close to the right color. He agreed to this and I tinted the stain. I knew what was going to happen before I did it. As soon as I tested the stain on the wood he brought it wasn't even close to the color he needed. So he then asked for me to put more black and brown in it to deepen it up, trying to stain match it there on the spot and when I did only one more for him he begrudgingly bought the stain that did not even get close. I might as well not even say anything.
Friday, as soon as I get to work I had to make two deliveries. The first, really easy, took three cans of road paint to a local college four blocks away for their parking lot lines. Second....oh the second....I have to take to this main office for a really high end apartment building. I get there, there's no where to park. Fifteen minutes later I find a place to park walk a block to the building and buzz the main office to let me in....no one is there. So another fifteen minutes of trying to get a hold of someone I go to check on the car. I got there just in time to catch a tow truck from towing me and I convinced him not to and had to move my car again. So I found a place to park, luckily it was closer and again went to the office to try again. This time she was there and when she came out to let me in she eyed me up and down and said the "I" needed to go through the back door through the back alley. Apparently I wasn't well dressed enough in my work uniform to even go through the front door. So I go to the back and this supposed back alley she speaks of is not an ally, it goes down into the building and no lie this entrance looks like a local hangout for rapists and serial killers. I sucked it up and drove down there and delivered everything. When I finally got back to the store, nearly and hour later my boss asked me what happened. As I regaled him over what happened the contractors that were there were actually kinda pissed that the secretary treated me so badly which...made me feel kinda good.

Today, Sunday, I was at the mall doing some shopping for a baby shower that I have next weekend for my sister-in-law and every sales man there had adopted the rabid raccoon stalker sales tactic. I couldn't go anywhere in that place without being accosted by a salesman until finally I came up with a brilliant plan. What's worse...is that I actually did it. I was walking down the main hall and one of those hair dresser kiosk guys, the ones that always want to straighten your hair walked up to me even though I was avidly avoiding eye contact and asked me how I fix my hair. I then started barking loudly at him, scaring him so much that he practically jumped up on his counter. As I walked away I felt like a genius and I'll tell you why. One, this man will remember me and know NOT to ever approach me ever again. Two, neither will his co-workers that were there. As long as you are okay with this person and everyone else that is present thinking you are the craziest person they have ever seen this tactic is awesome!