Sugar Coated Crap Muffin!

By Heather

Ooooooooookay, I know its been a long time since my last post and I'm really sorry. Working 70 hrs a week during the summer really took it out of me. So when I was home lets just say I wasn't very coherent...

So without further adew, the long awaited blog post!

Now I know to the bulk of you this blog post will seem pretty disgusting but its something you have all experienced at one point in your life, probably several.

So I'm at work today and have been waiting a very long time for the audit guy to get out of the bathroom so I could go. Its not like I was obsessively staring at the door, I was working and periodically checking to see if he was out yet. He finally gets out and when I got in this horrible array of mixtures invades every one of my five senses. Have you ever walked into a bathroom where something unholy just burst out of someones ass and they tried to cover it up with an air freshener? Of course you have! The air freshener does nothing besides make your sense of smell confused therefore her nose tries to divide the Warm Vanilla air freshener from the sour smell of shit. Therefore you cannot stop sniffing. Your brain goes into hyper drive thinking "Oh my Lord! I have never smelled something so foul, I must keep cataloging this smell till it is saved in my memory forever!" Which prompted me to think of the perfect analogy for this phenomenon, the Sugar Coated Crap Muffin! I thought I was rather inventive and accurate with that description.

After being in that stank for a few minutes I was beginning to think there was something wrong with this man. I thought I had smelled everything considering who I live with but this was something else. The only thing I could think of that would at least be a close comparison is Friday night at Jersey Shore. This man has something wrong with him. I don't believe any healthy human being can expel this smell from there body unless there wasn't something horrifically wrong. I washed my hands and exited the bathroom as quickly as possible taking my first breath of relatively fresh air considering I was still in the building and slowly exhaled trying to get the smell out of my nose.



Now I'm not saying its gross to do number two in a public place. If you have to go you have to go. The fact of the matter is when it comes to dropping the kids off at the pool I think its better not to spray an air freshener. I would rather smell straight unhindered shit than what the mixture of Apple Pie and shit produces. That just ruins apple pie for me.