TECHNOLOGY! TELL ME ALL YOU KNOW OH MYSTICAL BOX!

By Heather

Alright, first post!

As I said in the blog description I've started this blog to get out my frustrations about working retail and the idiots that shop at the store. And to this people would answer, "Then do something else beside bitch and complain about your life." Aw touche my friend, getting a job anywhere but retail is hard. I have been and am still trying to get out of this endless rage spiral.
But onto the jubilation. Today, as this happens many days, is one the biggest ticks I have about people that come into the store. When I am finished ringing out their merchandise and tell them their total they walk over to the pinpad (where you swipe your card) and as usual like 95% of customers don't read the screen I go into my usual speech. I'll demonstrate.

Me: "Swipe your card and hit yes to verify your total"

Customer: ...

From here on out the customer stares at the pinpad as if willing it to tell him the meaning of the universe. Their pupils dilate as a steady stream of drool flows down their chin and I'm sure they at some point get a lazy eye and a tumor growing from the side of their head before they look up.

Customer: What do I do?

At this point I have five people in line waiting for your ass to stop being retarded. But I keep my composure because I have to, or else I would be taking your card and doing it for you because I'm so exasperated to do even the slightest task. What I have just told you to do is exactly what it asks of you on the pinpad screen.

Me: "Press the yes button sir."

The customer does it with as much force as he can with either his finger or the pen.

Me: "Is this on your debit or credit?"

His eyes yet again focus on the screen as if the longer he stares at it it will answer every question he has ever had in his life. I can actually hear your thoughts. "What is this alien piece of technology, how does it work, what does it mean. I want to know, tell me magical box! I must know!" And just before I implode he looks up at me for that magical answer.

Me: "...debit or credit."

Customer: Oh...I don't...remember my pin.

Me: That's okay, just hit the cancel button, it will take you to credit.

Customer: But I want to buy my stuff, I don't want to cancel.

Me: It won't cancel out the sale, it will just take you to the credit screen.

Customer: ....

Me: ....

Customer stares at me blankly.

I can hear the teapot whistling inside my brain.

Customer: ...I don't understand...

I finally take it upon myself to push the cancel button for them and enjoy the 2.5 seconds of watching the customer freak out as their receipt prints out and I had it to them.

Me: Have a good day sir.

Customer confused but satisfied leaves but comes back about a half hour later because he ended up forgetting half his merchandise in another bag at my counter. I hate having to spoon feed grown adults.

This happened about seven times today. Now people that have ever worked retail for any period of time know that it is completely different working it that just being a normal consumer. I hope this has been education to those of you who haven't.