Holidays in Retail

By Heather

I know I have not made any recent posts and I'm sorry. I've currently been under a lot of stress for things unrelated to work. But I promise this post will make up for the time lost because I have a multiple amount of topics to talk about.

Alright, for starters my work has implemented this new scheduling system called FAST. Basically it schedules people more efficiently around where we seem to have the most sales. It also screws the part timers out of their hours half the time. I'm full time but it still bothers me that friends of mine, good hard working people are having to look for work and or second jobs elsewhere. But I digress. This also schedules me hours as a normal cashier, of which I don't mind. But it always schedules me on self check out which is the most boring job ever. I stand there in the same fricken spot for eight hours with little to no interaction with people. I hate coming to work and not really doing anything. On top of this, it is as you know, the Christmas season. So of course they are playing Christmas music. Let me ask you a question. How many versions of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer does one have to sing for them to realize, there is no other way to sing this damn song. Today, I counted twenty-seven different versions.

To you the person putting together the play list for my and so many other retail stores please very it up a bit. I know its slim pickens when it comes to framing a playlist around the holiday season but please put more songs in between each version of Rudolph the Red Nosed Reindeer. I think I'm developing a tumor.


This endless spiral of corny Christmas songs is beginning to drive me mad which is not good. It makes my numerous ticks about customers that much more obvious. I have three out of four self-checkout machines open, the other is out of order. What do people do, out of all the machines that are open and unused, they walk up to the one that is out of order, try desperately to scan their items before looking at me saying "It's broken!" No shit Sherlok, it says it there right on the flippin screen.

"Since you are not doing anything go around getting my numerous shopping list." No, I have to stand here because people are jerks and will run out without paying. Don't get me wrong, I will help all the people I can on self-check out but I can't leave. Or this one, all of my machines are in use and you have the one butt puppet that comes up to you with a cart full of stuff and wants you to ring them out. Try as you will to explain to them that you have no open register and that your little computer stand is not a register, it can't make it through the layers of stupid for them to understand it.


Tonight I was doing the closing paperwork and of course there is a register open down the line and self check is also open. And still, people come up to me, lean over my CLOSED gate and ask. "Are you open?" I try to hide look on my face that screams "ARE YOU FRICKEN RETARDED?" My light is off, my gate is closed, what about this looks like I am open?

I am trying to ring this woman out and she gets all the way to the tender screen and the entire time she is screaming on her cell phone. I am trying to politely tell her what to do as she goes from screen to screen and she looks at me as if to say "How dare you interrupt me!" when you are obviously having trouble getting from screen to screen because you're to busy screaming on your phone to read what the screen that is telling you to do.

PARENT YOUR FRICKEN CHILDREN PEOPLE! For the love of God and all that his holy, please just say "no" or "don't touch that" or "don't do that you will hurt yourself." I have had it with parents letting their snot nosed kids get away with murder. Seriously, what would your mom or dad do if they were going through the checkout line and you were ripping open half the candy, taking a bite and putting it back? I'd of been spanked and grounded for two weeks till I did enough chores to pay them back for all the candy they had to buy.
And here comes the twenty-seven versions of Rudolph the red nosed Reindeer! I can literally feel my brains leaking out my ears. You want to test someones mental capacity for solitude, you put them on self-check for an entire eight hour shift and watch them slip slowly into madness.
Rudolph is not the only song they play to death. They also have 16 different versions of Santa Baby playing. Including one Sung by a man that has a completely different connotation than when it is sung by a woman. The one sung by a man sounds like a creepy stalker.

Seriously person that does the playlist, please put more then 3 or 4 songs between the many versions of Rudolph. What kind of sick bastard are you? This is the reason people bring shotguns to work!

I am at your mercy here, I like the older stuff that you've been playing but change it up a bit. I'm sure people can tolerate a little more Tran Siberian Orchestra in their day. I know I'd love it if you put some Carol of the Bells in, its my favorite Christmas song.

The worst part is, its only Dec. 3rd, I still have 22 days left of this playlist to endure. All of you reading this, please wish me luck.